Is an urban garden in autumn worth the trouble? 09-28-2014: cluelessness edition

Want to start at the beginning? State of the Garden, 09-07-2014

Friends! So this is where I was supposed to tell you that after last week‘s brave decision to woman up, everything has turned around and the gardening is going splendidly.

Except it’s not.

All the lettuce has gone, including the tiny new seedlings! Carrots have disappeared AFTER I put a bird-repelling cover over the garden! This morning another arugula bit the dust!
If I had to give a one-word description of my mental state right now, it would be: clueless.

CluelessAppropriately obsolete pop culture reference. I remember this movie just like it was yesterday, children!
You know, back when the milk came in bottles and the internet sounded like beeeeeeeeeepchgggrrrrlllbeep.

But! I could have named this the Total Desperation Edition, but I didn’t. Because I will not give up. I will not back down. I will occasionally sit in a corner, frightened by the faceless evil that lurks in my garden, and sob quietly into the dark. Eh. By which I mean, I never did that. And it’s totally fine that I have no clue what I’m fighting against. When the gardening gets tough, the tough get gardening!

hopeThere is always hope. Or something.

State of the Garden, 09-07-2014
State of the Garden, 09-14-2014
State of the Garden, 09-21-2014

State of the Garden, 09-28-2014


Ugh, I’m so depressed. When I said I will occasionally sit in a corner etc, I meant, all the time. I do that all the time. I don’t even like this cover. It’s stupid. Stupid cover. Stupid vegetables. Stupid garden. Tell you what, I don’t really want to show you the pictures. Okay, I’m only going to show you two. Because PAIN.

lettuce2809Lettuce: all gone. Apparently I was so down I couldn’t even be bothered to focus.

carrots2809Three carrots left. That sounds like a song title for an all-vegan, all-female punk rock group.
Ew, I just gave myself inappropriate visuals.


Anyway, so instead of showing you a gazillion other empty spaces, I’m focusing on the positive. Beans! Look how happy they are! Look at their eerily fast growth and positive attitude towards the vertical plane! Maybe I’ll reframe this series and call it SHINY HAPPY BEANS LALALA CAN’T HEAR YOU! As a matter of fact, that’s a really good idea. I’ll let you know once I’ve stopped sobbing quietly into the dark.

Conspiracy theories
None. No theories. I thought it was birds. Then I put the cover over the garden. Then Total Devastation kept happening at roughly the same pace. So yeah, I really don’t know what this could be or how to fight it. Sorry!

Weekly tally
Before Total Devastation I was able to pick some salad greens, and we used a handful of spring onions in a fresh soup. Total weekly tally is around 1 euro again.

Total tally
3 – 55 (total cost) = made minus 52 euros. I don’t even want to do the shouty capitals thing right now. Because pain.
Tune in next week…or maybe don’t. Or wait, do. I could use the backup.

And now, to end on a positive note, for another edition of SHINY HAPPY BEANS LALALA CAN’T HEAR YOU!

beans2809Beeeeaaans. Lovely beans. All my hope is on you now. No pressure!

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