Daily Archives: October 15, 2015


Why lowering your expectations is a good thing (sometimes:))

pears

So, I baked a pear pie today.

Not exactly an extraordinary feat, right? Well, maybe for the average person, it isn’t. But when I woke up this morning, I felt so sore and tired, I thought all I’d be able to do was lie in bed and maybe crochet a little. For me, baking that pear pie means I aced my day.

If there’s one thing that being chronically ill teaches you, it’s how to lower your expectations. For the longest time I felt bad about spending whole days in bed, writing and crafting but not being able to, say, get my own groceries – because it wasn’t ‘normal’.
I wasn’t able to let go of normal. I kept comparing myself unfavourably with normal, and falling short. Until one day somebody said: “What if this IS your normal? I mean, societal norms aside, is this life really so terrible?”

And I realized: you know what, it’s not. It may not look like the average life of somebody my age – but it actually feels pretty fulfilling, to me. Letting go of the norm has enabled me to reset my whole idea, all my expectations, of what a good life should be and what it should look like. It has set me free.

This is what they call a blessing in disguise. And it doesn’t just apply to chronically ill people, though it does seem like people who’ve had a lot of adversity in their lives often have an easier time with this lesson. But really, I think this is true for everyone:

Once you let go of your expectations, you discover that anything can be happiness. That’s it. It’s that simple.
An impromptu meetup with old friends in a bar can be happiness. A smile on an elevator can be happiness. Baking a pear pie on a rainy day? Definitely happiness.

PS. It’s delicious. 🙂


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